Seeing the pieces…

“Sometimes in life you have to learn that there are many colors. Some you like and some you don’t, but all of them, my dear friend, are part of the artist’s masterpiece…

Do not look to what you do not have, enjoy what you have right now so you’ll feel content. Enjoy wherever you are, because God is with you.” –DM

This quote was shared with me, by a wise friend, a few days ago here in Flamingo, Costa Rica after I lamented my heartache in leaving my Tuis family and feeling discouragement in unfamiliar, and frankly, rather undesirable surroundings.

I’ve been meditating on it all week. He’s right. It IS possible to be in the midst of sandy beaches, palm trees, melodic oceans, tiki bars, and exotic fruits and yet feel so alone, out of place, unknown, misunderstood, without purpose, and like a minority. No matter your location, you always bring the same person there. Sunny Costa Rica, cold and snowy Canada, busy and loud New York, the local little league game, a bustling classroom, the comfort of home, room full of children, a cabin in the woods, or a café with Wifi. No importa.

Whether you expected to find sunny skies and a dark thunderstorm came instead, or walked out the door bracing yourself for torrential winds and got a gentle breeze with warm sunshine on your face, take comfort in knowing that life is ever changing. And it is a good thing. Because God is with you.

“…We also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5: 3-4

Being a perceptively visual person, I’ve desired to find a visual manifestation of this thought. Unexpectantly, on my way to the café to post this thought, I passed a building that encompassed, grandiosely this wonderful encouragement. Thank you Lord, for speaking in so many wonderful ways.

Maybe your color feels really dark right now...

But when one sees from a step back...



Yet another step...




Or maybe red better describes life right now...










Or perhaps there's a bunch of colors in one...




But after a step back...




Even further...

What masterpiece are your colors making?

out of darkness... into light.

In the midst of Holy week here in Costa Rica, a very special and celebrated Semana Santa, I was touched with the lyrics of this song by Charlie Hall. I’m humbled by the realization that without the events of this week 2,000 years ago, I would have nothing. I’d be a shadow of myself, if I’d even still be here.

Did you know that God became man to restore a broken bond between the two? That life doesn’t stop when a person prays the “sinner’s prayer”? That we’re not meant to “bide time” until we get to heaven, if we believe there is one or that we’ll go there?

Life’s about stories.
Sharing, laughing, crying, and living… truly living.

Marvelous Light

I once was fatherless,
a stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep

Your love it beckons deeply,
a call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take your life.

Sin has lost it's power,
death has lost it's sting.
From the grave you've risen
Victoriously

Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life, you are the way

My dead heart now is beating,
My deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs.
Now I'm free. now I'm free!

Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that i have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light

Lift my hands and spin
See the light within...

"Neighbor"

"The teacher of religious law replied, “Well said, Teacher. You have spoken the truth by saying that there is only one God and no other. And I know it is important to love him with all my heart and all my understanding and all my strength, and to love my neighbor as myself. This is more important than to offer all of the burnt offerings and sacrifices required in the law.”
Mark 12: 32-33"

"Y el escriba Le dijo: "Muy bien, Maestro; con verdad has dicho que EL ES UNO, Y NO HAY OTRO ADEMAS DE EL; Y QUE AMARLE A EL CON TODO EL CORAZON Y CON TODO EL ENTENDIMIENTO Y CON TODAS LAS FUERZAS, Y AMAR AL PROJIMO COMO A UNO MISMO, es más que todos los holocaustos y los sacrificios."
Marcos 12:32-33

When you think of the word "neighbor" what is the first thing that pops into your head?

As a child growing up, I've always looked at this term literally. My neighbor is the person who lives next door to me. Or in my "neighborhood". Or Mister Rogers'. :)

In church growing up, I've always struggled with this term, because they were trying to teach me that "neighbor" meant something bigger. It meant all people. But the literalist in me was never at peace with this exhortation, although I wholeheartedly believed in its message. It leant to the belief and focus on loving the people around me, immediately, locally, but also over the world, because I knew God loved them even though they weren't my immediate "neighbor".

Then I stumbled upon the Spanish version of this verse amidst my studies here. Expecting to see the word "vecino" for "neighbor" (aka someone in your neighborhood), I found the word "projimo."

Projimo? What's that?

Prójimo: (noun, masc) fellow human being.

“It is important to love Him… and my fellow human being as myself.”

I don’t know if it speaks to you like it spoke to me. But as a literalist, this speaks volumes of the limitless demands our love. To love all fellow human beings with the energy, passion, and generosity that we love ourselves...

Pensamientos...

~Thoughts and reflections from my latest email update~

"¿Si Dios está conmigo, quién contra mi?"
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

If the Lord desires to give us good things, why can’t we believe that they will come? If God desires to bring healing in our lives, why can’t we believe, have hope, and run the race to that end?

They say that living in another culture exposes things inside of you that you didn’t realize were there (much like marriage, living with a roommate, or working with someone).

I’ve had such beautiful affirmations in my spirit here – realizations of how I truly love to worship and connect with God best in the cathedral of the great out of doors, how sometimes authentically “showing up” is what is desired, and cherished, in times when I feel inadequate and ill prepared, or the how the mystery is unveiled when I let go of the wheel and expect it to spin out of control, and yet it mysteriously stays on course and navigates into waters and encounters I never could’ve planned or foreseen.

On the contrary side, I’ve had to come to terms with insistence of my need for control, predictability, and comfort. I’ve had to get on my knees and repent of a stubborn selfishness that echoes a small child having to leave an ice cream shop. I’ve have to surrender dreams and hopes that I’m not sure I’ll ever get back. I’ve had to wrestle with the definition of “purpose” and what defines us outside of our materialistic and egocentric worldviews. “Balance” is the banner that’s been placed over my life for the past two years. Consistently, I teeter-totter between success and failure, as I seek to learn this art in many cultures.

But if the God of the Universe is emphatically for me, who can be against me? The people living in my home? Nope. The people I interact with at work? Nope. My difficult neighbor? Nope. My critical boss? Nope. The strangers on the bus? Nope. The expectations of my friends? Nope. The ignorance of the well-meaning person? Nope. The criticism of imperfection? Nope. The fears of “I can’t…I’m not…I’ve never…”? Nope. (insert person or situation)? Nope.

Their streams from a water pistol are nothing compared to the Tsunami of love… joy… peace… patience… kindness… goodness… faithfulness… gentleness… and self-control… that are in & surround a person wholly surrendered to following and loving Jesus Christ himself. (Gal 5:22)

Selah.

Gringo Pinto!

If you're wondering what it's like to live and learn a foreign lanugage abroad, let me introduce you to my Gringo friend who's discovering the wonderful world of Spanish idioms!

Idiom (noun): a speech form or an expression of a given language that is peculiar to itself grammatically or cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in 'keep tabs on.'

For example, in English "it's a piece of cake" is not literally "it's a piece of sweet dessert sitting on the table over there ready to be devoured." Just like "ir a pata" doesn't mean literally "to go over there traveling by duck", instead it means "to go/travel on foot, walking."

Is it as confusing in real life as it sounds on this video??? Yes!!! ;-)

Enjoy! Disfruta!

He gives, and takes away.

I took part in my first funeral here in Costa Rica. A very dear friend of the mission died last Sunday. His presence, love and friendship here have touched the lives of countless people. Unfortunately, I did not have the pleasure of meeting or knowing him, for he was hospitalized right as I got here a month ago. People have shared how instrumental he was in beginning the ministry with our indigenous friends in Chirripo whom I will visit next week. And though I did not know him in this life, it is always sad to lose a brother whom you know has loved and impacted so many others.

I couldn’t help but reflect on the familiar realization that our time here on earth is so limited. While I emphatically believe that we should live daily with the awareness of our finiteness (of the fact that our very lives are in the hands of God and could end in an instant), the truth is that most of us don’t live with this in mind.

To pause, and reflect, in the midst of our crazy, and loud lives at times, can be so difficult. Will I take some time to stop and reflect on my life today? Right now? To see what things are most important to me? Whether my life reflects that? Is it God? Is it myself? Am I living my life the way I’m “suppose to”? Because it’s safe? Secure? Comfortable? Am I open to taking risks? For the sake of the kingdom of God? To be stripped of all the control in my life and surrender it to the One who gives me life in the first place? Have I told someone, that need to know, that I loved them? That I appreciated them? Have I shown them? Am I living for tomorrow? And therefore missing the beauty of today? Of this moment, no matter what the circumstance? How about you…

I wish it didn’t take the death of another person to beckon us to consider our living on this side of eternity. However, I’m thankful that it does. And I dream of being a person who isn’t afraid to take risks in this short life she’s granted, that I may see my Jesus someday, tired, but full of joy that I have no regrets in this life, and that I truly, truly lived.

Gracias, Filemon, for sharing your joy and life here. And for touching hearts even after you’ve gone. Muchas gracias.

“Only in a life lived following Jesus can you feel more peace and confidence with Him, trudging through the fear, confusion, and inadequacy of self, than in defaulting into a lackadaisical comfort where you know His presence won’t linger and miracles fade.”

Piropos!

For all you love birds out there who want to take your poetic ramblings to the next level in the romantic Spanish lengua, or you just want a good laugh!, enjoy these Piropos! (By definition, a piropo is a friendly Spanish compliment, flattery or a flirtatious remark. Also seen as street poetry that men say as a beautiful lady passes.)

Quisiera ser tus lágrimas para nacer en tus ojos, recorrer tu cara y morir en tu boca.

I would like to be a tear to be born in your eyes, to run down your face and die in your mouth.

No importa ser esclavo si fueras mi dueña.

It wouldn’t matter to be a slave, as long as you were my master.

Tantos años de ser jardinero y nunca había visto una flor más hermoso que tú.

All these years working as a gardener and I have never seen a flower more beautiful than you.

Bienadventurados los borrachos, porque ellos te verán dos veces.

Drunks are lucky since they see you twice.

No camines al sol, que te vas a derretir.

Don’t walk under the sun or you will melt like a piece of candy.

Si tu cuerpo fuera carcel y tus brazos cadenas, sería un bonito sitio para cumplir mi condena.

If your body was a jail and your arms chains, it would be nice to serve time in jail.

Vos con esas curves y yo sin frenos!

You with curves and me without brakes!

Joural entry 2-15-10

"Tranquilo. Calm down. That’s three times in the past 3 days that someone’s told me to calm down. Relax. It’s the American in me. It’s the control freak in me when I feel like things are out of my control. Or like tonight when I feel like I have to explain why the computer takes 3-4 mins to boot up and feel the need to apologize for it.

I’m apologizing according to my instant-access worldview where everything is constantly available at my fingertips, and how dare it not be? “Tico time” is a phrase often used here. Costa Rican time. Latino time. It’s a novelty and enjoyable the first few weeks when you feel you’re in vacation mode. Then week three kicks in and the novelty fades to an alternate way of life, which tends to clash with the American in me. Dinner? When its ready. Plans? Not really. Stuff to be done? Sure. Always. By when? Not sure. Can’t drive? No car? Walk. Take the bus with everyone else. See your neighbors there.

No problem. Don’t worry. No army. (Since 1948) They’re a people of peace. Of friendship. They’re Tolkein’s “Hobbits” of the Latin culture. (With the Irish being that of the European culture.) Don’t stress.

But what if I want to stress? What if I want to constantly be doing something? To feel good about my existence here on this planet? To feel like I have something to show for it? Why can’t I just be?

My name is Cher, and I’m addicted to stress. Being here is like going through detox. Incredibly tranquil surroundings give way to rest, recoup, and recharge. And somehow I find some way to fight even this.

So many things are out of my control. I have no phone, no car, no control over how quickly I learn this language or how others feel about me. But what do I have? A heart that loves, people who are beyond gracious, a culture that embraces me, a smile, a hug, a kiss, a smart brain, a God who moves, saves, and hears. Amigos. Compañeros. A purpose. To love and be loved. To rest and offer rest. To serve and be served. To grow and encourage growth in others.

I have the Spirit of Peace to place my trust in. All I need to do is ask.

“…Peace be with you…” from Jesus to his disciples when they had many fears. Jn 20:19

This is a wonderful place with wonderful people. I appreciate so much how it’s challenging me and growing me into the woman God dreams me to be.



He knows where the path will go. He is faithful to meet you there.

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever…”
“El Señor cumplirá en mí su propósito. Tu gran amor, Señor, perdura para siempre…”

-Psalms/Salmos 138:8



The river of God is always here, with us. We may not where it comes from or where it goes, but it is always with us, always changing, and yet always the same. Strong and loud at times, and yet still and quiet at others.

little girl.

Last night as I lay warmly, tucked and mindful of one of the last nights I'd partner with my electric blanket, I couldn't help but desperately try to follow all the avenues my brain decided to trek, and take detours, then stop, and go again. End of day processing, and attempts to fall asleep, can be some what of a chore at times. Disciplines of meditation, deep breathing, relaxation techniques and prayer are all things that I've found helpful for those of who find yourself in similar spots.

Amidst many wonderful faces popping up whom I delighted in interceding in prayer for, another face popped up. It was a little girl. I should preface this by divulging that I've tried to be intentional about processing my heart, thoughts, & emotions during this transition process, in light of both the life and geographical effect. This can prove to be difficult when you have unending lists of things to do and people to see.

But still, I couldn't shake this image of a little girl out of my mind. As I looked closer I came to realize that that little dark haired, ungraceful girl was me. In my childhood form. And what she was doing was holding toys and trinkets in the bulk of her arms. As she gazed at them, suddenly one popped out. As she bent down to pick it up again, yet another ball fell out of the other side. She squat down with her little chubby legs to try and to detain the new runaway only to have her hair fall, obstructing her limited childhood gaze. Phew, Phew she blew as she tried to clear the tangled mess. To no avail. Squinting her eyes in an attempt to focus, she set off once again in the noble mission of reclaiming her lost ball, while protecting and directing the current treasure within her arms.

Even as I type this with my One Village coffee in hand at 9:30a on a snowy morning of my twenty seventh year of living, I'm strangely aroused to the fact that not much is different between my current self and that little girl. Inclusive of even the fact that my hair is still a mess from not yet engaging the day, I find that I still share the same sentiments of this little girl. We both believe that what we are doing is worthwhile and important. Yet we both mess up all the time as we strive to do a good job in the midst of the honesty of who we are. She gets distressed momentarily, but not anxious. She gets frustrated, but not defeated. She lives in the freedom of her present, equipped task, and doesn't fret over what bigger things her eyes cannot see. She simply doesn't worry about them. Her gift without realizing it, is her simple presence and beauty, innocence, and joy. She lives in the freedom of not feeling pressured to be an expert, or have answers, or master skills. She lives in a world where she is perfect. As she is. And I have so much to learn from her.

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

-Matt 18: 2-4

Hint: I'm the youngest (aka chubby baby) and yes, that is an authentic She-Ra Princess of Power doll. The 80's did rock. :)

One day at a time.

Sometimes the greastest blessings can come in little snipetts. Kay Arthur gives me encouragement each day through a flip book, and I cannot recant the many times that her encouragment and truth has hit right on! (LOVE when the Big Guy does that!)

Thought I'd share an entry of hers from January 15th, which came in perfect timing.

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it." Ps 37:5

Her thoughts: O Beloved, the will of God is simply that you submit yourself to Him each day and say, "Father, Your will for today is mine. Your pleasure for today is mine. Your work for today is mine." Take one day at a time. "Tomorrow will care for itself" (Matt 6:34). And remember, He is God over all your tomorrows.

Beautiful. And valuable for a girl leaving on a trip in two weeks who is currently struggling with time management. It reminds me that each day belongs to the Lord- it's His. It begins and ends with Him. It surrenders and lets go to Him. It loves and outpours of Him. It steals away and rests in Him. It is the same today in Telford, as it will be in Turrialba, Costa Rica. A day at a time.

Thank God for that. :)

the title.

In light of the fact that some people may be new to my blog, I decided to highlight an excerpt from my very first post which explains the reason for why I chose this title.

"The title of my blog was gathered at the memory of my last sunday in America before I left [for Spain]. I found my self in a house with friends, relaxing and communing together over a glass of wine and cheese. Therefore, in its Spanish embodiment, "Queso y Vino Conmigo" is an invitation. It's an invitation to come and have some cheese and wine with me; as we look together at the world, life, love and everyting in between. Bienvendios" 5/29/07

A new day. A new season.

It's hard to believe that this blog has endured silence for the past 9 months. It's not hard to believe that school, especially Nursing school, can be so all-encompassing that peripheral enjoyment, be it expressing thoughts in blog-form or communing with friends, unfortunately, gets shelved until the air clears, as sanity and freedom find their way home again.

Not that I'm completely sane or free at the current moment ;-), but I do relish in the fact that certain obstacles have been endured, overcome, and the chapter of Nursing School and prep are finished. I'm an RN.

With my life changing seasons, and as I head out to Costa Rica on this journey the Lord has me on, I suddenly find new inspirations, time, and a longing to express my heart in this journey and the desire to invite you along.

I'm not typically known for quick quips, genius exhortations, or lofty artistic narratives. I do find life comical at times, and find such value in sharing stories. So I hope you enjoy joining me in sharing mine.

Buen dia! Y Bienvendios al viaje!
(Good day & Welcome to the Journey!)