Sunday, November 30, 2008

I ran into Mercy

A Journal Entry 11/19/08

"I ran into Mercy today. Literally. Her name is Mercy [Andrews] and she's an OB nurse at the hospital I'm currently assigned to. She's from India and has been a nurse for many years. I wasn't co-assigned to her, but interacted with her all morning as I wandered around trying to find clean linens, alcohol swabs, ice machines, lg BP cuffs, and the like, whilst trying to care for my two post-partum (aka: just had babies yesterday!) patients. She helped me find the bathroom using her codes and I guess had been observing me all morning.

Near the end of my shift, I was helping a nurse get ginger ale for a patient - and Mercy was in my way. Literally. So I playfully "attacked" her seeking her help finding this allusive ginger ale. After pointing to a nearby cabinet, she added "there's something about you. You're going to be good." Not quite sure what she was referring to, she continued. "I've done this for 26 years. I've seen all kinds [of people]. And you'll be good," she stated, wagging her finger. "Keep going and working hard, but don't worry, you've got it."

It? How did she know? How did she know about the deep questions in my heart that sincerely question whether or not I'll be a good nurse? How did she know my frustration that creeps in, leading me to believe that no matter how hard I work, it seems I'll never be good enough. how did she know that I question whether or not I can do this? Be a good friend? A good daughter? Sure. I can do those. But a good nurse?

I was so touched that I went over and gave her a hug and a thanks. She smiled and laughed. What's this "something about you"? It's joy. It's love. Pure love that is quick to serve, love, help & forgive. It's so rare to see in the medical world in its purest form. It's Jesus. The manifestation of His spirit. And Mercy saw it. And affirmed me in it. And I'm thankful. Thankful that Jesus chooses to use screw-ups like me to spread his love, joy, and healing around in this world.

It truly is a mystical happenstance to have someting so pure flow through a vessel so broken and messed up and unpure. I suppose the scientific mind would not be so easily pleased with this explaination, unless they suppose that as a pure substance flows through the cracked and maimed vessel, it repairs, heals, and rejuvinates (or renews) it as it goes. Supposing this pure substance is potent and powerful enough to do so, and in turn, purify the once maimed vessel. I cherish the fact that the God I worship loves to rejuvinate and heal His broken vessels... on the way to healing and rejuvinating broken vessels.

I'm thankful for Mercy. Who brought healing words from my Maker to my heart."