Joural entry 2-15-10

"Tranquilo. Calm down. That’s three times in the past 3 days that someone’s told me to calm down. Relax. It’s the American in me. It’s the control freak in me when I feel like things are out of my control. Or like tonight when I feel like I have to explain why the computer takes 3-4 mins to boot up and feel the need to apologize for it.

I’m apologizing according to my instant-access worldview where everything is constantly available at my fingertips, and how dare it not be? “Tico time” is a phrase often used here. Costa Rican time. Latino time. It’s a novelty and enjoyable the first few weeks when you feel you’re in vacation mode. Then week three kicks in and the novelty fades to an alternate way of life, which tends to clash with the American in me. Dinner? When its ready. Plans? Not really. Stuff to be done? Sure. Always. By when? Not sure. Can’t drive? No car? Walk. Take the bus with everyone else. See your neighbors there.

No problem. Don’t worry. No army. (Since 1948) They’re a people of peace. Of friendship. They’re Tolkein’s “Hobbits” of the Latin culture. (With the Irish being that of the European culture.) Don’t stress.

But what if I want to stress? What if I want to constantly be doing something? To feel good about my existence here on this planet? To feel like I have something to show for it? Why can’t I just be?

My name is Cher, and I’m addicted to stress. Being here is like going through detox. Incredibly tranquil surroundings give way to rest, recoup, and recharge. And somehow I find some way to fight even this.

So many things are out of my control. I have no phone, no car, no control over how quickly I learn this language or how others feel about me. But what do I have? A heart that loves, people who are beyond gracious, a culture that embraces me, a smile, a hug, a kiss, a smart brain, a God who moves, saves, and hears. Amigos. Compañeros. A purpose. To love and be loved. To rest and offer rest. To serve and be served. To grow and encourage growth in others.

I have the Spirit of Peace to place my trust in. All I need to do is ask.

“…Peace be with you…” from Jesus to his disciples when they had many fears. Jn 20:19

This is a wonderful place with wonderful people. I appreciate so much how it’s challenging me and growing me into the woman God dreams me to be.



He knows where the path will go. He is faithful to meet you there.

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever…”
“El Señor cumplirá en mí su propósito. Tu gran amor, Señor, perdura para siempre…”

-Psalms/Salmos 138:8



The river of God is always here, with us. We may not where it comes from or where it goes, but it is always with us, always changing, and yet always the same. Strong and loud at times, and yet still and quiet at others.