go and sin no more...

my heart is wrestling with this phrase this morning...

in the story of John 8:1-11, Jesus dispels a group of religious leaders when they bring a woman caught in the act of adultery before him. we looked at this story as a church. there are so many perspectives we can glean from; the woman, the pharisees, the crowd, Jesus. this woman was caught in the midst of her sin. in the middle of her wrong doing, she was exposed for her sin against God, not her sin against any man or person.

i have many friends who live with their boyfriends. who have sex with their boyfriends. they commit sin everyday because they're not married and under Biblical Law, they are committing sexual sin. yet, in my own life, i've never once had sex and, granted, have struggled with this desire on my heart for over 10 years. in a moment of honesty, i confess that i have given into deep desires and lust over various guys over the years. sometimes its easy to not give in, and other times its debilitating not to. but heres the part that's hard to swallow... my lusting after each of them has placed me in bed with each of them, in God's eyes (Matt 5:28). in that sense, i might as well have slept with them physically. (man, now u tell me! jk) its all the same. Since my sin-offense is to God and no one else, i not only am i as literally guilty as all of my friends for all of the sin, but WORSE. i know (not just knowledge, but in conviction and revelation of the true and living God) the truth, and still i choose my sin. ouch.

so before the world goes on judging them, including myself, my God, how much worse off am i over them!

my heart breaks at my sin and my seeming inability to stop it. at times like today, i feel powerless and wrestle with phrases like "go and sin no more." can jesus really expect us to sin no more? isnt that impossible? what did he mean by that?

what happens after the story? i believe Jesus knew the woman and in turn, forgave her. what was the rest of her life like? how did she struggle? did she really sin no more? how did Jesus, God, approach her later?

if Jesus is the lamb sacrifice of all the world, can he really forgive all our sin, even those of us who know the truth and rebel against it? the obvious, biblical, answer is yes, but with your guilt glaring you in the face, its impossible to understand why...