11:14 pm

the curse of a nightly routine is that you usually perform it just before going to bed. i'm puzzled at this ritual, because one inevitably splashes water on their face, be it warm water, sure, and eventually finds themselves awake and typing away on a computer to try and ease them into dreamland. in the meantime, a few thoughts shared never harmed anyone too badly, i hope... :)

i have nothing profound to share except the realization of late that change really does happen. you know how often you pray that you'll be different than you are and you are tempted to worry that you will be the same person tomorrow that you were today, and yesterday. maybe you dont. maybe you just like going through life a day at a time and dont think too hard about the past or future. but in my case, ive realized how much ive changed over the past few years, and especially in the past few months. since my return from europe and my return to school, ive notice a calm, eerie peace about me. i know a lot of it has to do with the God i serve, but consequently, ive never done life like this... without worry, or the drive to constantly be doing something seemingly worthwhile to give my life a "reason" or purpose. esther and i were talking about an irish friend of hers who's visiting america and taking it by storm. he mentioned that a difference between irish folk and americans is that, appearently, americans need a reason to do something, whereas irish people dont. when i ask "well, why are u doing that?" he responds with "well, why not?" i cant emphasize that enough about my love for traveling. cultures are so different, its incredible what they can learn from each other. i'm thankful ive gotten to travel as much as i have, and i think im a bit wiser for it.

if there is anyone out there whos never spoken and learned the history and life story of a person not from this country, i encourage you to do so. we're all the same, really. we need each others stories to get a glimpse of whats real in this world.

im thankful for my story. all the muck. the profound. the simplistic. all of it. i hope u are too.